You did it again.

You fell out of your routine.

The workout you swore you'd stick to? Skipped.

The meal prep you planned? Abandoned.

The evening wind-down you promised yourself? Gone.

And now the guilt sets in.

"Why can't I stick to anything?"

"What's wrong with me?"

"I'm stuck here."

If you're tired of breaking bad habits only to restart them again and again, you're not alone.

Female leaders struggle with this exact pattern.

It has nothing to do with discipline or willpower.

Why Building Sustainable Habits for Working Women Feels Impossible

You lead teams.

You manage crises.

You navigate unpredictable schedules that shift without warning.

Your wellness routine becomes the lead weight that drops first when life gets overwhelming.

A sick kid keeps you up all night.

Your boss schedules an early meeting.

Your parent needs urgent help.

Your needs? They fall fast with a hard thud.

Here's what most advice about breaking unhealthy habits gets wrong:

It tells you to "be more consistent" or "build better discipline."

That's not the problem.

The problem is you're missing three critical signals your emotions are sending you.

The Framework That Changed Everything

I learned this framework the hard way.

In fall 2023, I received a diagnosis that flipped my world upside down: Graves Disease—an autoimmune condition attacking my thyroid.

For 18 months before that diagnosis, I watched myself become someone I didn't recognize.

I was gaining weight despite eating well.

Exhausted despite sleeping.

Frustrated despite doing everything "right."

I was falling out of my fitness routine as a busy professional for the first time in my life.

The guilt crushed me.

The shame grew heavier.

Until I made one decision.

I decided to listen to what my emotions were telling me instead of fighting them.

That decision changed everything.

Today, I've managed my Graves Disease effectively, lost the weight, and built flexible routines for my unpredictable schedule that actually work.

Here's the framework that made it possible.

Signal #1: Frustration Points to Missing Ownership

Your frustration is telling you something important.

When you find yourself frustrated, it's because something didn't go the way YOU wanted it to.

You feel like you've lost all control.

But here's the truth: You rarely lose all control.

Yes, external factors change your life.

But you still have control over some things.

You have control over how you respond.

You have control over how you think about the situation.

You have control over how you speak about it and let it shape your decisions.

Take back the control you have.

What This Looked Like for Me

I couldn't control my Graves Disease.

I couldn't control the unexpected fatigue.

I couldn't control the weight gain my body was experiencing.

But I could control what I ate.

I could control when I went to bed.

I could control whether I asked for help.

Did these choices lead to me having an energetic, great day each time?

Of course not. But they did help me have more grace with myself because I knew I owned what was in my control.

Ask yourself: What can you control in your situation right now?

Not what you wish you could control.

Not what you think you should be able to control.

What do you actually have control over?

This is how you can build flexible routines for your unpredictable schedule instead of creating rigid systems that fall apart the moment life happens.

How to Be More Consistent for Leaders: Start With What You Can Control

Maybe you can't control your work schedule, but you can control what time you go to bed.

Maybe you can't control when your kids wake up, but you can control whether you prep breakfast the night before.

Maybe you can't control the meeting your boss just added, but you can control how you respond.

Do you reschedule your workout?

Do you shift it to a ten-minute walk at lunch?

The choice is yours.

The ownership piece isn't about controlling everything.

It's about recognizing what you CAN control, taking ownership, and acting on it.

That's where your power lives.

My military and corporate careers taught me something valuable: disappointment is inevitable.

You can't control external factors.

But you can control your response.

That's the foundation of building sustainable habits for working women.

Signal #2: Guilt Points to Missing Gratitude

Your guilt is a signal too.

When you're feeling guilty because you've fallen off the wagon again—because you can't stick to your routine and you're restarting for what feels like the thousandth time—your guilt is normal.

But it doesn't have to be permanent.

This is where self compassion—when you miss your daily routine—becomes essential.

Take a minute and think about all the other times you restarted your routine or had to change it.

What did you learn about yourself?

Here's a thought:

Each time you start a routine over, you learn something new about yourself.

You're a different person than you were yesterday.

You're living in a new season of life.

You've experienced different things than before.

Each time you start a routine over, you're putting in another rep.

You're practicing with more wisdom.

Starting over isn't the end of the world.

It's an opportunity for you to apply new information, new wisdom, and new techniques to move forward.

What This Looked Like for Me

When I first got diagnosed, I felt guilty about gaining weight.

Guilty about not working out.

Guilty about being tired all the time.

But when I shifted my perspective, I realized something.

My body was fighting a disease.

My body was doing exactly what it needed to do to survive.

And each time I restarted my fitness routine—even if I only made it two days in a row or even in a week—I learned something.

I learned that ten minutes was better than nothing.

I learned that walking counted as movement.

I learned that rest wasn't lazy—it was part of reaching my goal.

Each restart taught me something.

Each one moved me closer to managing my symptoms effectively.

What has each of your restarts taught you?

Breaking Bad Habits Through Perspective Shifts

When you're trying to figure out how to be more consistent as a leader, gratitude becomes your secret weapon.

Instead of "I failed again," try "What did this restart teach me?"

Instead of "I'm broken," try "I'm learning."

Instead of "Why can't I do this?" try "What did my body need this time?"

These small shifts in perspective change everything.

They transform feeling guilty about restarting your routine from a burden into a super power.

Signal #3: Shame Points to Missing Support

Finally, let's talk about shame.

Your shame is a signal.

It's pointing to where you're missing support.

Shame is an emotion that keeps us isolated.

It convinces us we're the only one struggling.

That we're the problem.

That we're the only one who's felt this way.

That we're the only one who's been in a situation like this before.

Friend, that's not the case at all.

As you choose to take ownership of what's in your control, you need to select your support system.

Be particular about the people you want to hold you accountable and hold you up when you find it difficult to do so yourself.

Making this decision to start over, to make another attempt, can drain your energy.

You'll need to make this decision multiple times.

So you'll need people you can trust with your vision.

People who believe in your ability to reach it.

What This Looked Like for Me

Even after I made the decision to change, even after I decided to take ownership of what I could control, sticking to the routine didn't happen in one attempt.

It took several attempts.

It took focused energy.

It took persistent work.

But I had support.

I had my husband reminding me that rest was part of the process.

I had my doctor celebrating small wins with me.

I had friends who checked in and asked how I was really doing.

That support made the difference between giving up and pushing through.

Who's in your corner right now?

And if you don't have anyone, where can you find that support?

Because you don't have to do this alone.

Why Coaching Accelerates How to Be More Consistent for Leaders

Here's what I learned: trying to figure this out alone takes years.

Having someone who understands the signals, who can help you identify which one you're missing, who can guide you through building your support system—that changes the timeline dramatically.

Building sustainable habits for working women requires more than information.

It requires someone who can see your blind spots.

Someone who can call out when you're trying to control things outside your power.

Someone who can help you find gratitude when guilt feels overwhelming.

That's what coaching does.

It accelerates what might take you years to discover on your own.

How to Use These Three Signals Right Now

Here's what I want you to remember from this post:

• Your frustration points to where you need to reclaim ownership.

• Your guilt points to where you need to shift your perspective and find gratitude.

• Your shame points to where you need support.

These emotions aren't signs that you're broken.

They're not character flaws.

They're signals showing you exactly where to focus next.

So what should you do when life gets in the way of your routine?

You remember these three signals.

You use them as your guide.

Your Next Step

Pick one emotion you're feeling about your routine right now.

Just one.

If it's frustration, ask yourself: What can I actually control here?

If it's guilt, ask yourself: What did I learn the last time I restarted?

And if it's shame, ask yourself: Who can I reach out to for support?

This is how you stop breaking unhealthy habits and start building sustainable habits for yourself, your family, and your team.

This is how you restart your wellness routine after life gets busy without the crushing weight of self-criticism.

This is how you become the leader who shows up powerfully for your team AND prioritizes yourself.

You don't have to keep being the lead weight that drops first.

There's another way.

And you're capable of it.