5 Steps to Develop Resilience That Commands Respect as a Leader

Leadership often feels like walking a tightrope—one wrong move and everyone's watching you fall. But what separates leaders who crumble under pressure from those who handle opposition with grace and confidence?

The answer lies in two fundamental characteristics that most people try to avoid: tenacity and resilience.

Why Most Leaders Struggle with Opposition

We've all worked for that manager who seemed to need to "grow a spine." You know the type—they waffle on decisions, avoid difficult conversations, and leave their team feeling uncertain about direction and priorities.

These wishy-washy leaders lack the two most crucial leadership traits: the tenacity to make hard decisions and the resilience to handle whatever comes next.

The Leadership Moment That Changed Everything

Early in my Air Force career, I faced a decision that would define how I approached leadership forever. I had an airman who had made mistakes in the past (who hasn’t) but was showing genuine change. When the Air Force was going through reductions, his name appeared on the list for removal.

A senior leader believed this airman's past made him unrepairable. But I disagreed. Despite knowing it could hurt my reputation, I chose to advocate for giving him a second chance.

The outcome wasn't what I hoped for—he ultimately didn't succeed. But here's what surprised me: the senior leader who initially opposed my decision still respected me afterward. So did many others.

That experience taught me that opposition doesn't have to destroy relationships when you lead with your values and stay true to what you believe is right.

The Two Characteristics Every Strong Leader Needs

1. Tenacity

Tenacity is your ability to persist in your decisions despite resistance. It's not stubbornness—it's the courage to stand by values-based choices even when others disagree.

2. Resilience

Resilience is your capacity to recover from setbacks and continue moving forward. It's accepting that failure is part of leadership and using those experiences to grow stronger.

These characteristics don't come naturally to most people. They require intentional development through experiences that challenge you to grow.

Five Steps to Develop Leadership Tenacity and Resilience

Step 1: Understand Your Values as a Leader

For me, my relationship with my airmen meant more than any promotion. That drove many decisions that weren't popular with senior leaders, but because those choices aligned with my values, I felt grounded and confident making them.

Take time to identify what matters most to you as a leader. When your decisions flow from clear values, you'll have the foundation needed to handle opposition.

Step 2: Trust Yourself Sooner Rather Than Later

Learn to speak up professionally when you disagree with senior leader decisions. This doesn't mean you'll always be heard or have influence, but even when you must carry out orders you don't agree with, you can do so with confidence because your perspective was represented.

Step 3: Be Willing to Fail

I knew there was a high chance my reputation would take a hit betting on that airman. But failure is part of leadership—it's part of life. You won't learn or grow if there isn't a chance you could fail.

Step 4: Acknowledge Failure Before It Happens

Accept the possibility of failure as reality before making difficult decisions. When you process the bigger emotions ahead of time, your reaction will be calmer and more measured than most people expect if things don't work out.

Step 5: Own That Your Decision May Not Be the Best One

Even if your decision works out, don't be surprised if someone comes up with a better solution later. That doesn't mean your choice was wrong, but it might mean it wasn't optimal—and that's okay.

As long as you make decisions with as much information as you can gather in the time available, having 80% confidence is better than making no decision while waiting for 100% certainty.

The Reward of Authentic Leadership

When you develop tenacity and resilience, something remarkable happens. You stop leading from a place of fear and start leading from a place of integrity.

Your team begins to trust you because they see someone willing to make difficult decisions and handle the consequences with grace. That's the kind of authority people choose to give you, not just what comes with your job title.

Building these characteristics takes time and intentional practice. But the investment pays off in strengthened relationships, increased confidence, and the kind of leadership presence that naturally commands respect.

Opposition will come—it's part of leadership territory. The question is whether you'll be ready to face it with the tenacity and resilience that define truly effective leaders.