How to Lead When You Have Too Much On Your Plate: Four Leadership Development Tips for Women Managing Teams and Projects
You know the feeling. You're managing your own full workload of projects while also trying to lead a team working on their own initiatives. You're stuck in what many call the "player coach" role - being an individual contributor and a manager at the same time, often without the authority that makes either role sustainable.
This challenge hits female leaders especially hard. We're often placed in positions where we're responsible for our own deliverables plus team outcomes, but we lack the tools to create real change. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone.
The Reality of Leading While Playing
Many leaders find themselves caught between competing demands. You're supposed to complete your own projects, motivate your team, hit targets, and solve problems. But when you need resources, support, or backing for decisions, those aren't available to you.
This creates a specific type of stress that goes beyond normal work pressure. You're juggling your own deadlines while being accountable for team results you can't fully control. It's exhausting, and it can leave you questioning your leadership abilities.
Four Strategies That Actually Work
The good news is that you can succeed in this challenging role. While you can't change your dual responsibilities overnight, you can develop approaches that make the player coach position more manageable and effective.
1. Focus on Influence, Not Authority
When you can't rely on formal power, influence becomes your primary tool. This means:
Building genuine relationships with your team members
Understanding what motivates each person individually
Creating trust through consistency and transparency
Showing up as someone worth following, not just someone giving orders
Influence takes longer to build than authority, but it's often more powerful in the long run.
2. Master the Art of Managing Up
Your relationship with your boss becomes critical when you lack authority. You need them to be your advocate and source of support. This requires:
Regular communication about challenges and needs
Presenting solutions, not just problems
Understanding their priorities and pressure points
Building trust so they'll back your decisions
Managing up isn't about manipulation. It's about creating a partnership that helps you both succeed.
3. Set Clear Boundaries
Without formal authority, people might try to bypass you or ignore your guidance. Protect your leadership position by:
Being crystal clear about expectations and consequences
Following through consistently on what you say
Addressing boundary violations immediately
Documenting important decisions and communications
You can't enforce boundaries through rank, but you can through clarity and consistency.
4. Protect Your Wellbeing
Leading without authority is draining. The constant navigation, relationship management, and influence-building takes emotional energy. You must:
Recognize when you're operating beyond your capacity
Build support systems outside of work
Practice saying no to additional responsibilities
Remember that you can't control everything
Your wellbeing isn't separate from your leadership effectiveness. When you're depleted, your ability to influence and guide others suffers.
When to Know It's Time for Change
Sometimes the player coach role is temporary - a stepping stone to something better. Other times, it's a sign that you need to look elsewhere for the authority and support you need to lead effectively while managing your own workload.
Consider your options when:
Your boss consistently undermines your leadership
You're expected to deliver on your own projects while managing team performance
The dual workload is affecting your health or relationships
You've tried these strategies but the competing demands remain unsustainable
You deserve to work in an environment where you can either focus on individual contribution or team leadership - not be excellent at both simultaneously without proper support.
Moving Forward
Being a player coach isn't ideal, but it's reality for many of us. The key is developing strategies that work within your dual role while protecting your energy and wellbeing.
Remember that great leadership isn't always about having unlimited time and resources. Sometimes it's about creating positive change while managing your own full plate of responsibilities.
Want to hear the full conversation about navigating leadership challenges? Listen to my podcast episode with Jamie McSwain, where we dive deeper into these strategies and share real stories about finding your leadership voice in difficult situations.
