How to Handle Difficult Conversations with Confidence: The 6 P Framework for Leaders

Difficult conversations as a leader are expected, yet often unpredictable.

Maybe it's a conversation with your spouse about money that makes your stomach ache. Or sitting down with a team member who's struggling and you're not sure how they'll react. Perhaps it's deciding whether to invest in that program that could change everything for you.

In those moments, you might think: I need more time. I need more information. I need more certainty.

Here's the truth most of us don't want to admit: We hate the possibility of failure. We don't want to make the wrong call.

But what if these difficult conversations could actually build your confidence instead of draining it?

What if you could walk into them feeling prepared instead of panicked?

Today I'm sharing a mindset shift that changed everything for me, along with the exact framework I used when I had to have one of the scariest conversations of my life.

The Conversation That Changed My Approach to Difficult Decisions

A few years ago, I found a coaching program that was perfect for my business. The coach was phenomenal. She understood what I needed. The timeline worked out. The program had exactly what I needed to add more legal protection to my business.

There was just one problem.

I didn't have the business capital to enroll.

I had just given up a six-figure salary so we could move for my husband's career. If I wanted to take advantage of this offer and the timeline, I needed to have a conversation with my husband about using family funds to invest in this business program.

I was terrified.

I was wrestling with questions about my own worth:

• Does my contribution still matter if it's not financial?

• Will he see this investment as worthwhile?

What if I fail?

I was nervous about even bringing it up. Anxious because I couldn't predict where the conversation would go. Scared about what he might say. Even more scared about how I'd handle it if he said no.

The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

Then something shifted.

I realized this wasn't the first time I had a tough conversation with my husband. We'd talked about big life decisions before. About money. About family. About my business.

I thought back to those previous conversations — how they went, what I said that landed well, where I could have communicated more clearly, how I managed my emotions and how I could have helped us both stay calmer.

That's when it hit me: Those previous conversations were practice.

Every single difficult decision I make is practice for the next one. The same goes for challenging conversations.

This became the new lens I decided to view my next difficult conversation with. It gave me enough confidence to come up with a game plan for how to approach the talk.

The 6 P Framework for Confident, Prepared Conversations

I'm a big believer in reflection. Asking questions is one of the best ways to get my mind turning in the direction I need it to go.

These are the steps and questions that helped me prepare for that conversation. They've worked for each tough decision I’ve made throughout my life.

You can remember this as the 6 P Framework: Prepare, Plan, Practice, Pray, Play, and Ponder.

Step 1: Prepare

Don't just figure out what you're going to say. Think about how you're feeling going into this conversation.

Think about how your words might land emotionally.

Being emotionally prepared is just as important as getting the facts straight for handling tough conversations.

You'll need to manage your own reactions and help keep the conversation calm when emotions run high.

Here's what really helped me: Before the conversation, I decided how I'd respond if things got emotional or went sideways.

Just having that plan helped me feel calmer when it was actually happening. In a way, I'd already been through it once—even if it was just in my mind.

Your brain doesn't always know the difference between something you've imagined in detail and something you've actually experienced.

Pull from past conversations:

• What worked before that you want to do again?

• What didn't work that you want to change this time around?

Step 2: Plan

Think about when and where you'll have this conversation.

Not while you're both rushing out the door and not when you're exhausted at the end of a long day.

Here's the part most people skip: Decide how you'll respond if the conversation doesn't go the way you hope.

Because that might happen.

You can walk in confident and still be realistic about outcomes. This is where decision making confidence comes from—being prepared for multiple possibilities.

Step 3: Practice

Play out the conversation in your head. How might it unfold? What are two or three different directions it could take?

This helps your brain come up with creative solutions that work for everyone involved.

But don't over-practice to the point where you're overthinking it.

You want to feel prepared, but still a little nervous. That healthy kind of nervousness keeps you present and genuine. It keeps you listening instead of just waiting for your turn to talk.

Step 4: Pray or Meditate

Visualize the conversation in the different situations you practiced.

Picture yourself in those different scenarios. Take some deep breaths. Meditate. Whatever helps you get centered before you start preparing and before you actually have the conversation.

This helps train your body and mind to associate this conversation with calm instead of panic.

Think about it as training your mental and emotional state on how to perceive the conversation before it happens.

If you're a person of faith like me, pray before you start preparing. Pray when you're planning. Pray as you're practicing. Pray before the conversation takes place.

This can help keep you centered and grounded on what and who truly matters.

Step 5: Play

Game time. Now is actually time to have the conversation.

I think about this whole process like an athlete preparing for a game. You play how you practice, so practice how you want to play.

Don't overthink all the things you practiced. Trust yourself.

If you did the prep work, your mind will guide you. Just focus on being present and finding a solution that honors both of you.

This is where your emotional preparation pays off—you've prepared, now you can be fully present.

Step 6: Ponder

After the conversation, take some time to reflect:

• How did it go?

• How did you feel before, during, and after?

• When might be a good time to check in with the other person about how they experienced it?

• What would you do the same next time?

• What would you do differently?

Whether the outcome changes or not, this reflection builds your skills for having challenging conversations going forward.

What Happened with My Conversation

My husband listened. He asked thoughtful questions.

Then he surprised me. He proposed a different funding source I hadn't even considered.

The conversation didn't go exactly the way I'd imagined. It actually went better.

Why? Because I had prepared. Because I had practiced seeing it as just that—practice.

Your Challenge: Try This Framework Once

Think about the next difficult decision or tough conversation you need to have in the next three to five days.

Test this framework just once.

Then let me know how it goes. Send me a message on LinkedIn or DM on Instagram.

If you're wondering how to apply these steps to your specific situation, let's talk.

Schedule a complimentary discovery call with me. No commitment. No pressure. Just a conversation about the direction that makes sense for where you are right now.

The Real Goal of Difficult Conversations

Remember: The goal isn't to make perfect decisions or have perfect conversations.

It's to make decisions you're proud of, regardless of the outcome.

When you use this framework for managing emotions in leadership and preparing for difficult conversations, you're taking responsibility for your choices while still being open to input from others.

You're also protecting your relationships. Good advisors, good teammates and good partners understand that the final decision is yours to make.

Developing strong decision-making skills and confident communication skills takes practice. Be patient with yourself as you build this confidence.

The more you use this framework for difficult conversations, the more you'll trust your ability to make great choices. And that confidence will make you a stronger, more effective leader.